To begin I feel it necessary to elaborate on the name of this blog and welcome my readers.
DDPD a.k.a. Depersonalization/Derealization disorder is a disorder that I suffer from every second of every day that inspired me to start up a blog again. At a later time I’ll make a post specific to that but for now, this is all you really need to know. Since I wanted a blog that centered around my experiences with this disorder *though I plan to post about a lot of different things, I needed a title that worked with it.
I like the word Serendipity.
- the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.
July 28th, 2015 at around 5:00pm I was at work joking around with my boss when my world disconnected from reality. That doesn’t sound very happy does it? For anyone who doesn’t know- Depersonalization is basically a disconnect from reality. Often times it’s caused by trauma or prolonged anxiety. It’s something your mind does- like building a mental wall- in your subconscious as a defense mechanism.
That’s why I liked this title. Irony is amusing.
After a couple of days of the DDPD not ending I had to make a decision. I could keep having panic attacks and crying myself to sleep because I couldn’t feel myself talk, keep up with my conscious mind, recognize myself, etc. Or I could find the silver lining. Excelsior.
One of my all time favorite movies is Silver Linings Playbook with Bradly Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence. In this movie, Bradly plays as Pat, a man who has bipolar disorder. He uses the word “excelsior” as his uplifting word.
So that’s what I had to do and continue to do every day. It has it’s perks as well as it’s many downsides. I just have to play the cards I was dealt.
Welcome to my life.